Eli's Joke for Jim Hynds

Yes, I did interrupt him mid-joke...Dad had the camera like 2 inches from his face...as you can see.

Sorry for interrupting Eli.

Pictures of Israel

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2041529&id=56201495&l=b5dbe5fd6b

waitin at the airport

July 3, 2009

Delta airlines plays a pleasant video with safety instructions rather than having a host/hostess talk over the intercom.  There is a very pleasant young woman on the video who talks you through the emergency procedures.  Her calming voice really makes you feel relaxed with promises of pleasantry and complimentary services.

However, I would like to submit the following script modifications for future remaking of this video.  I have inserted the lines that I feel the Delta video leaves out.   [ ] indicates the script modifications I have inserted.

“Welcome aboard Delta Airlines.  We would like to thank you for choosing to travel with us.  Each seat is equipped with a seat belt. [If it doesn’t work right, that’s ok.  They are just for looks. They wouldn’t do a darn thing for ya if we actually hit the side of a mountain]  Please fasten your seat belt whenever you are seated.  [This will continue to give you the allusion that you have any control over your own safety on this flight.  It’s kinda like a security blanket]  The captain will turn off the fasten seat belt sign when it is safe to move about the cabin.  [Children will abuse this privilege and run throughout the isles.  Although the thought will occur in your mind, please be patient and DO NOT close line any of them as they zip past.]

In the unlikely [ but possible] event of an emergency the exit doors are clearly marked.  There are two at the front of the plane, four above the wings, and two in the back. [Again, these also do not function as child disposal portals.  Your patience is kindly appreciated with the little ones.]  Each door is equipped with a self inflating life raft in case of a water landing. Your seat cushion can also serve as a flotation device. [Again, not really gonna do much…when was the last time you heard of a water landing with survivors?  Except of course for that one fluke in the Hudson.] If you are seated in an emergency exit row please make sure to review the exit row instructions. [The likelihood of us surviving a crash is like 1 in 1000 so don’t worry about reading those too carefully.  A good skim through the pamphlet so that the other passengers seated near you think you know what you are doing is sufficient.]  

Incase of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, oxygen masks will automatically drop from the ceiling.  Please fasten and secure your own mask before helping others around you.  [You may wonder, “Why would the cabin lose pressure?”  If there is a leak in the cabin or if a terrorist blows out a window a drop in cabin pressure is likely.  In such an event we know that the cabin will turn to chaos so the oxygen is laced with laughing gas to calm everyone down.]   

Once the aircraft has reached cruising altitude, we will be providing a complimentary snack and beverage service. [We also provide complimentary white noise for your sleeping pleasure…we have randomly seated children throughout the cabin who will cry intermittently through the night.  There are also free massages…the child behind you who will kick the seat each time she/he shifts positions.  The frequency of this event is not guaranteed and will likely wake you from the few moments of sleep you were getting.] The flight attendants will also be taking your Sky Mall orders.  All Sky Mall purchases are duty free [but we have jacked up the prices so you’re really not saving much]. 

Again, thank you for choosing Delta [we know you were just looking for the cheapest flight but hey, we’ll take it].  Have a nice flight.” 

[end scene]

Dad and I landed in the JFK airport an hour earlier than was scheduled so we now have 5 ½ hours to just relax until we finally fly to Indy at 12:30pm.  I love kids…except for on flights.  Dad and I are pretty tired from a flight with little kids who enjoyed loud conversation through the night with short breaks for periods of recreation up and down the isles.  Cute, but seriously kids?

We stood in lots of lines today…passport check, security, ticketing, security again, oversized baggage check (for the guitar), another round of security, money exchange, and finally boarding. Then at the US airport we stood in line for passport check, baggage claim, customs, rechecking our baggage, shuttle service to our terminal, oversized baggage check (I love traveling with a guitar), and security into our terminal.   In the last 20 hours of our lives, Dad and I have spent 12 in the air and at least 4 standing in lines in the airports.  I am not complaining because I appreciate all the safety precautions that they take but…ok there is a little bit of a complaint in there. 

But here’s the ironic thing…once we finally got a chance to relax the first thing Dad chose to do was wait in line again.  Starbucks.  Enough said.

As I was waiting for Dad while he got our coffees, I was thinking about what I would write about once I finally got a chance to sit and blog.  I was laughing to myself about the irony of Dad being back in line.  Then I thought about how coffee shops bring a strange sense of normalcy as Dad and I discovered on the busy streets of Jerusalem.  It is almost like a feeling of being “home” in a foreign place.  A deeper sense of home comes when you discover that a stranger is a believer in the middle of conversation.  This happened several times in Israel.  I would be talking to an Israeli who I assumed was Jewish or Muslim or secular and then randomly in mid conversation I figured out that they too believed that Christ is who he says he is.  In those moments I felt community between myself and a stranger, even if only for a short conversation. 

Now I am a 2 ½ hour flight away from Indy where I’ll get off the plane, say hey to my sisters and then drive to Missouri with Kristen for Ashley and Nate’s wedding which I am singing in tomorrow (hence the guitar in Israel). 

Only three (boarding, baggage claim, oversize baggage claim) more lines to go,

Haley Kate

July 1, 2009

It's 9:35pm on July 1^st here and Dad and I have made it back to my homeland here in Israel…Kibbutz Ginnosar.  I have found my self once again sitting by the Sea of Galilee for a final hour of Seaside Philosophy.   It is definitely the perfect way to spend my last full night in Israel.  We checked out of our hotel one night early to spend one final night here at the Kibbutz so Dad could get a better feel for where I’ve been.

For the first time in his life, Dad walked into the water of the Sea of Galilee.  Not ON the water…but hey it's a start.  We have had a great last few days here.  It has been an incredible experience and we are so grateful that we got to do this together.  We are already brainstorming about how to come back.  So far our best idea is...ah hem... "EXPERIENCE ISREAL 2011".   It will be a 3-part trip.  There will be sometime spent at a dig, time touring the country, and time teaming up with a ministry here.  I’ve come across so many unique ministries that could easily use volunteers.  Any takers?

And back to reality…we're gonna get up and do a quiet time by the sea tomorrow.  I have found that this place creates a deep desire to do just that anyway.  After breakfast we’ll head to a few more sites: Capernaum, Caesarea Philippi/Tel Dan? , and of course Bethsaida.  Then we'll drive back over to Tel Aviv to drop off our car and hang out til our flight leaves at 12:40am (Friday).  

Dad and I have learned a lot about ourselves on this trip:

I for one have learned that I get a little testy when under a hot sun for many hours a day. 

Dad finally learned, on our last day in the hotel, that our room is to the right when stepping out of the elevator, not the left….although every other day left seemed to be a first choice for him. 

I learned that my dad is more protective of his 22 year old daughter when walking through foreign streets where everyone looks like “terrorist”  (and I mean that in the most PC way possible…seriously, don’t be offended) and speaks a language other than ours. 

Dad learned that the amount of coffee he can consume in one sitting at a coffee shop here worries even the servers.   As one waiter asked, “Is your blood ok?”  To which he answered, “Oh, yeah.  Can you make the next pot stronger?”  (yes, he did ask for another pot, not cup)

I learned that modest clothing by American standards can be offensive to the orthodox Jews and their cousins, the Muslims.  (Don’t worry I didn’t get spit on or stoned, just some very pleasant looks.  What can I say? When it’s 106 degrees F, I’m gonna wear shorts.  I only did that once.)

Dad learned that the Dead Sea is not a refreshing dip…ever.  Nor does it taste even a little bit good.

I learned (as did Dad) that while the extra buoyancy of the salt-saturated water is a lot of fun, the burning sensation that every pore on your flesh experiences after about 10 minutes is not so fun.  (PS-DO NOT shave the day you are going to the Dead Sea.  Just don’t. )

We learned that kids are kids everywhere.

We learned there is not a person who doesn’t have a story to tell.

We have come to understand that there is no simple way to explain the conflicts of Israel.  They are complex, deeply rooted issues with many sides to each story.  It would be arrogant to think that we could leave this place with a political solution to the problems.  The real need is for the people of this land to know Yeshua as the Messiah…not merely as a prophet, not merely as a confused rabbi but as the Lord and Savior of the world…the God of Abraham, Ishmael, and Isaac.