Thursday-part 2
Thursdays are now officially my sabbath. During our time up country I learned how important a time of rest really is. So today I spent my time hanging out at the staff house reading, writing, praying but mostly journaling. So I thought I'd share with you some of what I wrote today:
I am here in Sierra Leone, on a Servant Team, trying to serve the poorest of the poor. I am doing what God has called me to do. I knew this was where God wanted me when he called me to it last semester. Today my mind is racing with thoughts of anxiety. It is my sabbath day of rest, and yet my mind seems unable to find it. As I think about my time here my mind seems able only to think of my failures as Satan remindme of them. As I cry out to God in my prayers, he reminds me of the times when I have felt most at home. they ahve been times when I've been in Freetown or Murray Town with no agenda. Just to be with people. As I stop along my walk home to talk with different people, I am so blessed by the smiles on their faces and the friendly conversation we have. Or the times when the neighborhood kids invite me to play football or just hang out with them. When these times have lead to talking about Jesus have been the best times. Talking about how much He loves them and how blessed I am to be here, seeing him in them. Being for the poor-is that not what it is to Know God? (yes, Jer. 22:16)
Just reflecting on those times settles my mind and brings me peace. If it is in these times that I have felt most at home what does that mean for me as I go back to Carmel, IN? It is a city that is only getting richer and richer and is pushing the poor farther and farther away as it bulldoses their homes to put in bigger homes and stores that only the rich can afford. the kingdom of this world has such a stronghold there. How will I work to usher in the kingdom of God? My dream for Carmel is see it as a city of the upside down kingdom--God's kingdom. One in which on any given day one could see people loving their neighbors. Where, through the reconciled church, the millions spent eahc day on the fleeting treasures of this world would be spent instead in service to their millions of poor neighbors.
In the States I often see commercials where a well-fed, well-dressed white person iw walking through a slum, holding a hungry child and talking about all the hunger and suffering there and asking us for help. It is a sad picture and yet I can make it go away with the push of a button and sadly, I do. How many times have I done that? More than I'd like to admit; just one time is embarrassing to confess. But here the poor are not nameless to me and there is no button to make it all go away. I purposefully walk into it every Wednesday, Friday, and Saturday afternoon and past it every day. What is amazing to me is that it is with my friends there that I am happiest in Sierra Leone. The first few times, I could bearily control my emotions as I walked the tiny alleys between the shreds of tin they call thier homes. Praise God that now I cannot walk through there and leave without a smile. the poverty is not gone and the suffering has not dramatically lessened but I am able to be at peace. It has been in getting to know my neighbors, the poorest of the poor, that God ahs shown me more of his heart and met me in such intamate ways that I feel words fail to proclaim God's glory. The injustice and oppression are still there and because I know the poor, I will fight for them!
I thank God everytime I remember those times and the people that simply by loving me, have blessed me far beyond what I can explain. I have been really restling with all of this because I struggle to see where in Carmel I can serve like this. I have dreams of being somewhere like this again and simply loving the poor but I feel like I am turning my back on these dreams b/c I have at least 2 1/2 years at school. As I've worried about this, God has told me, "not yet". All that I have learned and experienced has not been in vein. God is going to use it all for his glory in his own time.
So, I shall carry on in anticipation of what is to come and sharing that hope with those that are with out hope. I look forward to how God is going to use all of this as I go home but for now I am here. I want to be as present as I can here. So I would like to kindly ask you that as you all send me e-mails to not include a count down. I can't wait to be home with all of you but if I spend all my time thinking of home, I will not be able to hear what the Holy Spirit is leading me to do for these last 4 weeks. I ask you to pray with me for this-let me not have my eyes on going home but on being here. I REALLY want to serve and I know God is going to faithfully lead me to do that. Thank you all SO much for your prayers and support. I truly appriciate you so much.
Love you,
Haley Kate
I am here in Sierra Leone, on a Servant Team, trying to serve the poorest of the poor. I am doing what God has called me to do. I knew this was where God wanted me when he called me to it last semester. Today my mind is racing with thoughts of anxiety. It is my sabbath day of rest, and yet my mind seems unable to find it. As I think about my time here my mind seems able only to think of my failures as Satan remindme of them. As I cry out to God in my prayers, he reminds me of the times when I have felt most at home. they ahve been times when I've been in Freetown or Murray Town with no agenda. Just to be with people. As I stop along my walk home to talk with different people, I am so blessed by the smiles on their faces and the friendly conversation we have. Or the times when the neighborhood kids invite me to play football or just hang out with them. When these times have lead to talking about Jesus have been the best times. Talking about how much He loves them and how blessed I am to be here, seeing him in them. Being for the poor-is that not what it is to Know God? (yes, Jer. 22:16)
Just reflecting on those times settles my mind and brings me peace. If it is in these times that I have felt most at home what does that mean for me as I go back to Carmel, IN? It is a city that is only getting richer and richer and is pushing the poor farther and farther away as it bulldoses their homes to put in bigger homes and stores that only the rich can afford. the kingdom of this world has such a stronghold there. How will I work to usher in the kingdom of God? My dream for Carmel is see it as a city of the upside down kingdom--God's kingdom. One in which on any given day one could see people loving their neighbors. Where, through the reconciled church, the millions spent eahc day on the fleeting treasures of this world would be spent instead in service to their millions of poor neighbors.
In the States I often see commercials where a well-fed, well-dressed white person iw walking through a slum, holding a hungry child and talking about all the hunger and suffering there and asking us for help. It is a sad picture and yet I can make it go away with the push of a button and sadly, I do. How many times have I done that? More than I'd like to admit; just one time is embarrassing to confess. But here the poor are not nameless to me and there is no button to make it all go away. I purposefully walk into it every Wednesday, Friday, and Saturday afternoon and past it every day. What is amazing to me is that it is with my friends there that I am happiest in Sierra Leone. The first few times, I could bearily control my emotions as I walked the tiny alleys between the shreds of tin they call thier homes. Praise God that now I cannot walk through there and leave without a smile. the poverty is not gone and the suffering has not dramatically lessened but I am able to be at peace. It has been in getting to know my neighbors, the poorest of the poor, that God ahs shown me more of his heart and met me in such intamate ways that I feel words fail to proclaim God's glory. The injustice and oppression are still there and because I know the poor, I will fight for them!
I thank God everytime I remember those times and the people that simply by loving me, have blessed me far beyond what I can explain. I have been really restling with all of this because I struggle to see where in Carmel I can serve like this. I have dreams of being somewhere like this again and simply loving the poor but I feel like I am turning my back on these dreams b/c I have at least 2 1/2 years at school. As I've worried about this, God has told me, "not yet". All that I have learned and experienced has not been in vein. God is going to use it all for his glory in his own time.
So, I shall carry on in anticipation of what is to come and sharing that hope with those that are with out hope. I look forward to how God is going to use all of this as I go home but for now I am here. I want to be as present as I can here. So I would like to kindly ask you that as you all send me e-mails to not include a count down. I can't wait to be home with all of you but if I spend all my time thinking of home, I will not be able to hear what the Holy Spirit is leading me to do for these last 4 weeks. I ask you to pray with me for this-let me not have my eyes on going home but on being here. I REALLY want to serve and I know God is going to faithfully lead me to do that. Thank you all SO much for your prayers and support. I truly appriciate you so much.
Love you,
Haley Kate
posted by Haley Kate @ 1:55 PM
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