River Number 2 beach is the most beautiful beach I have ever been to in my life. That is where we spent the majority of our day today as we ended our final retreat here. It was a 3 day retreat to provide us time to seriously reflect on these last 4 months. We spent time writing out our thoughts, our goals for the next month, 6 months, 1 year, 5 year; I wrote our what disciplines I want to continue to cultivate and new ones I want to begin; I expressed in my journal the fears that are starting to creep in; we ended with writing a letter to our self that will be sent to us in 6 months.
The majority of our retreat was spent at Franco's-a resort run by an Italian and his Sierra Leonean wife. it was BEAUTIFUL and had amazing food. You must ask to see pictures when I get home, although they will probably be Jeremy's pictures because I took all of 5. Jeremy loves to take pictures and is quite good at it, so when I see him snapping, I just don't even bother gettin mine out. I know I'll regret it later but anyways...moving on. The beauty of the place drew me to worship God. We had such a great time chasing crabs (well, I did), swimming, exploring, eating, laughing. From standing in the ocean and looking back towards the shore it looked like a scene out of Jurasic Park. A beautiful white sand beach, backed by misty mountains...kushe God(means good job). The first morning we were sent off to start writing about some questions Faye posed for us and Satan started working. I could not help but feel like I was setting myself up for failure. Everything god has taught and cultivated in me all seemed like they were destined to fall to pieces when I returned. When I stopped trying to write and sort of gave up on the morings assignment, the feelings left and I was able to just enjoy the rest of the day playing in the ocean and relaxing. the same thing happened the second day. It wasn't until that night that I started to realize when I needed to do, I was carrying it all on my own back. I felt it was all my own inability that was going to prohibit me-once I was no longer living with the poor, once the people I spent most of the day with were no longer the poor-how could I still be loving them and living what I'd learned? Ok, so I can't carry this but who would help me?
As we were sharing our goals, one of Eric's was to find a community to be a part of that would share the same passion and zeal for the poor as he now has. That was it! The past 3 days I'd been picturing this with me and God-no more. God calls us-commands us to be in community with people so I know He is going to provide people in my community to carry this with me. And it isn't going to be hard all the time-there will be much joy in further discovering the heart of my Father in it. So I need to re-write my letter to myself b/c my first attempt was full of doubt.
So now it is time for our heart to heart. You are my community. As I come back I know that you will want to ask me about my trip and I cannot wait to share it with you. I must ask that you do not pose this question, "so how was Sierra Leone?" Because to me that implies a one word or one statement answer. Kinda like when you pass someone and ask how they are doing? You'll only get a quick one liner from them as you pass. So if you really want to know about what I have experience, how I've encounter God and changed please don't ask me as if in passing. That would be a great injustice to the people I have met and the work the Holy Spirit has done in their lives and mine.
As I mentioned, I have started to make goals/disciplines for myself. Some good questions may be to ask me what those are? if I am holding myself accountable to those goals and God's call for my life? Because as long as I walk in the spirit, my life is no longer mine-it will only be mine when I am walking in darkness. It doesn't really matter what the question as long as you are not wanting a one word answer.
I have 1 week 3 days left here in SL and they are going to be jammed full of being with different people. So I am not sure if I'll be updating my blog-maybe one more time before I leave. So I need to ask you to start praying. Prayer is going to be what carries me through the hard time that I know is coming as I return to the States. I'll be praying that God will prepare my heart because it is about to break a little more-but God will ment it and the scare left there will always remind me of Sierra Leone. I'll be praying against the enemy and all the lies he will be throwing at me and my team. I'll be praying that I will be filled with the joy of knowing what God has done, is doing, and will do as I leave part of me behind. I tell you for true I am coming back different. If after talking to me you can find nothing different about me pray because the enemy will be winning. I want what I have learned to become a part of who I am-not a part of who I was in Sierra Leone. I invite you to be praying for this with me. I have began to understand the power of prayer here and so I ask you to sincerely consider this for the next while as I come back.
Thank you for being such a strong community for me as I have been here-I have been reaping the benefits of your prayers and encouragement more than you know. May all the glory be His!
Haley
Sorry it took so long KP ;)
The majority of our retreat was spent at Franco's-a resort run by an Italian and his Sierra Leonean wife. it was BEAUTIFUL and had amazing food. You must ask to see pictures when I get home, although they will probably be Jeremy's pictures because I took all of 5. Jeremy loves to take pictures and is quite good at it, so when I see him snapping, I just don't even bother gettin mine out. I know I'll regret it later but anyways...moving on. The beauty of the place drew me to worship God. We had such a great time chasing crabs (well, I did), swimming, exploring, eating, laughing. From standing in the ocean and looking back towards the shore it looked like a scene out of Jurasic Park. A beautiful white sand beach, backed by misty mountains...kushe God(means good job). The first morning we were sent off to start writing about some questions Faye posed for us and Satan started working. I could not help but feel like I was setting myself up for failure. Everything god has taught and cultivated in me all seemed like they were destined to fall to pieces when I returned. When I stopped trying to write and sort of gave up on the morings assignment, the feelings left and I was able to just enjoy the rest of the day playing in the ocean and relaxing. the same thing happened the second day. It wasn't until that night that I started to realize when I needed to do, I was carrying it all on my own back. I felt it was all my own inability that was going to prohibit me-once I was no longer living with the poor, once the people I spent most of the day with were no longer the poor-how could I still be loving them and living what I'd learned? Ok, so I can't carry this but who would help me?
As we were sharing our goals, one of Eric's was to find a community to be a part of that would share the same passion and zeal for the poor as he now has. That was it! The past 3 days I'd been picturing this with me and God-no more. God calls us-commands us to be in community with people so I know He is going to provide people in my community to carry this with me. And it isn't going to be hard all the time-there will be much joy in further discovering the heart of my Father in it. So I need to re-write my letter to myself b/c my first attempt was full of doubt.
So now it is time for our heart to heart. You are my community. As I come back I know that you will want to ask me about my trip and I cannot wait to share it with you. I must ask that you do not pose this question, "so how was Sierra Leone?" Because to me that implies a one word or one statement answer. Kinda like when you pass someone and ask how they are doing? You'll only get a quick one liner from them as you pass. So if you really want to know about what I have experience, how I've encounter God and changed please don't ask me as if in passing. That would be a great injustice to the people I have met and the work the Holy Spirit has done in their lives and mine.
As I mentioned, I have started to make goals/disciplines for myself. Some good questions may be to ask me what those are? if I am holding myself accountable to those goals and God's call for my life? Because as long as I walk in the spirit, my life is no longer mine-it will only be mine when I am walking in darkness. It doesn't really matter what the question as long as you are not wanting a one word answer.
I have 1 week 3 days left here in SL and they are going to be jammed full of being with different people. So I am not sure if I'll be updating my blog-maybe one more time before I leave. So I need to ask you to start praying. Prayer is going to be what carries me through the hard time that I know is coming as I return to the States. I'll be praying that God will prepare my heart because it is about to break a little more-but God will ment it and the scare left there will always remind me of Sierra Leone. I'll be praying against the enemy and all the lies he will be throwing at me and my team. I'll be praying that I will be filled with the joy of knowing what God has done, is doing, and will do as I leave part of me behind. I tell you for true I am coming back different. If after talking to me you can find nothing different about me pray because the enemy will be winning. I want what I have learned to become a part of who I am-not a part of who I was in Sierra Leone. I invite you to be praying for this with me. I have began to understand the power of prayer here and so I ask you to sincerely consider this for the next while as I come back.
Thank you for being such a strong community for me as I have been here-I have been reaping the benefits of your prayers and encouragement more than you know. May all the glory be His!
Haley
Sorry it took so long KP ;)
posted by Haley Kate @ 3:31 PM
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