Bringing more then me to worship

I lead worship last Sunday at the contemporary service in my church. On the surface it appeared to go well but I could feel such a spiritual battle going on and I couldn't figure out why it was there or how to get rid of it. Then last night I figured out why.

As I was on stage I could just see that there was a lack of true worship. People were just singing because they were supposed to. After we got off stage and sat in the back of the room, I just really started to be bothered with this. As the worship leader, it is my responsibility to bring people into worship through my honest and humble worship. I prayed about it a lot and then got back up to finish the service. The second part went much better and people were truly worshiping this time.
I was still bothered by how the service went though. What most bothered me was the fact that I couldn't see why there was a problem. Last night I was reading "The Pursuit of God" by A.W. Tozer and God really got my attention on this and some other matters. Let me share...

Regarding Sunday, God showed me that it was me that was the problem. I have to say that I hate to admit my shortcomings as a worship leader because I feel like if I'm even going to get up there to lead worship, I need to have it all together. The reality is I don't and I NEVER will. I struggle with giving myself grace in that area and I struggle even more receiving it. If I had realized then what I was doing, I would have gotten back on stage and said something like this"
"I am sorry. I came today to lead us into worship but I came with my pride.
I came with an honest want to worship but also with a desire to impress you.
That is where I have failed. I am sorry that I came here to worship God-AND.
I was wrong to bring an AND. I should only have come today with a desire to
worship God, so please accept my humble apology. I want to start over now.
I am going to humbly worship my Father and if you want to join me
please do.”
Imagine the barriers that would have brought down?!? I’m sure it might have angered a few cynical people but mostly it would have opened up that time in such an honest way. I want to make that a habit from now on. If I go to lead, I go to lead through true example. I know that if I just get up there and worship with all my heart, let the lights fade and worship God as if it were just Him and I in my dorm room, then others would naturally be draw to Him through His presence.

My prayer today is that I would be able to away any intention to impress people and simply be able to love my God the way He loves me. Father, please help me come to your throne without any roots in this world. I thirst to be thirstier still. I will no longer bring myself to your throne unless I can come with all of myself. I want to proceed in simplicity so that I may love as you love. Thank you for your amazing grace, mercy, and most importantly love. Take away every anxiety I may have and replace it with Your peace. I love you.
Amen

Haley Kate