my life is a paradox
Today I forgot why I profess to be a Christian. There are days, like this one, when it just doesn't make any sense to me at all. I am tempted to live one way or another because of the happiness I may get from it, I mean it is happiness, why do I have to avoid it? Then I snap back to reality, realizing it would only bring temporary happiness, and get so sad that I even wanted it at all. It is human nature and yet God wants me to fight it and be above it? So many aspects of Christianity are so illogical it's maddening! After all of this feeling came up today I remembered something I had just written in a midterm paper:
"The gospel is the greatest paradox ever. Jesus had done nothing wrong! Yet he chose to die a murderer's death. Due to the fact that as Christians we must strive to live life as Christ, our lives must become paradoxical to this world. Our lives must make 'a statement that is seemingly contradictory or opposed to common sense and yet is true'. That is the definition of paradox, according to the Meridian-Webster dictionary and thus, if what I have said is true, that is the definition of a Christ-centered life."
I so often forsake my decision to give everything to God. I let Satan talk in me into thinking in the immature ways that I used to think. I forget that with the joy of being God's there are going to be times when what is easy isn't right, that my life is going to seem, at times, paradoxical by this world's standards. In order to overcome the doubt that creeps in during times such as those, I must persistently pursue Him even through them because the reward if I do, is far greater then the temporary ease if I give into the temptation to "do it my way". I mean let me be honest, when I try to "do it my way", I only end up causing more pain for myself.
All of this is so elementary Christianity to me and I feel like I should never struggle with it because it is so simple. Yet, after saying all of this I feel so at peace. Because as I look back at what I just wrote, almost everysentencee begins with "I". HELLO! Did I not learn anything...I have to give EVERYTHING to God. There needs to be less "I". If God were going to speak audibly to me right now, He'd probably tell me to let go. He'd tell me to stop trying to hold on to this world and surrender all to him.
So that's what I'm gonna do tonight. I'm letting go...and embracingg the beautiful paradox that is my life in Christ!
"The gospel is the greatest paradox ever. Jesus had done nothing wrong! Yet he chose to die a murderer's death. Due to the fact that as Christians we must strive to live life as Christ, our lives must become paradoxical to this world. Our lives must make 'a statement that is seemingly contradictory or opposed to common sense and yet is true'. That is the definition of paradox, according to the Meridian-Webster dictionary and thus, if what I have said is true, that is the definition of a Christ-centered life."
I so often forsake my decision to give everything to God. I let Satan talk in me into thinking in the immature ways that I used to think. I forget that with the joy of being God's there are going to be times when what is easy isn't right, that my life is going to seem, at times, paradoxical by this world's standards. In order to overcome the doubt that creeps in during times such as those, I must persistently pursue Him even through them because the reward if I do, is far greater then the temporary ease if I give into the temptation to "do it my way". I mean let me be honest, when I try to "do it my way", I only end up causing more pain for myself.
All of this is so elementary Christianity to me and I feel like I should never struggle with it because it is so simple. Yet, after saying all of this I feel so at peace. Because as I look back at what I just wrote, almost everysentencee begins with "I". HELLO! Did I not learn anything...I have to give EVERYTHING to God. There needs to be less "I". If God were going to speak audibly to me right now, He'd probably tell me to let go. He'd tell me to stop trying to hold on to this world and surrender all to him.
So that's what I'm gonna do tonight. I'm letting go...and embracingg the beautiful paradox that is my life in Christ!
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